And so it is...

Showing posts with label Joking Around. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joking Around. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

There Was A Lull In My Head... Or Was It LOL?


Fatwa Haram Menikah Dengan Gadis Satu Kampung.

JAKIM telah mengeluarkan fatwa terkini tentang hukum nikah di Malaya. Setelah diadakan perbincangan dan diskusi di antara para ulama' dua minggu lepas, JAKIM dan ahli ulama' telah menjatuhkan fatwa bahawa:

"HARAM HUKUMNYA BAGI SEORANG MUSLIM LAKI-LAKI UNTUK MENIKAH DENGAN GADIS SATU KAMPUNG"

Fatwa JAKIM ini telah menimbulkan perdebatan dan bantahan yang sangat sengit antara mereka-mereka yang pro dan kontra tentang isu hukum pernikahan yang akan diguna-pakai oleh semua umat Islam di negara ini. Bahkan banyak pihak yang menyatakan bahawa JAKIM telah mengambil keputusan yang tidak munasabah dan terburu-buru. 

Wartawan Harian Membiol seperti biasa telah cekau berita ini terlebih dahulu, dan seterusnya telah meminta pegawai kanan JAKIM untuk memberi ulasan yang mendalam sebab sebab JAKIM mengeluarkan fatwa sedemikian. Inilah isi wawancara tersebut:

Wartawan Biol: "Bagaimana JAKIM boleh mengeluarkan fatwa haram untuk menikahi gadis satu kampung?"

Pegawai Kanan JAKIM: "Bagaimana tidak haram, sedangkan menikahi empat orang wanita sahaja sudah ya amat la berat, apatah lagik kalau menikahi semua pompuan satu kampung...! Ekau ni dah sasau ko apo jang?! Gilo eh?"

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Kalau mat rempit meleis ambik exam matematik atau sains...
Tu le sebab ramai bebenor terjoinT MLM... ajer ngan yer!



Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Century Of Pissing Off Psychos


This Is My 100th Entry




25,000 hengget ajo? 
Buek taik gigi pun tak cukup jang oi...
What the fak?
Baek aku men gitar... ado gak pekdah.


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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day Of Comedy

 .

Eh... korang tahu tak aku ada beberapa page/group kat facebook - tempat aku parking aku punya maklumat yang berselirat tentang MLM-SP ni semua? Asalnya, itu aje la yang aku ada, sampai la blog ni jadi pemes tanpa disangka-sangka. Kat sana aku ada info tentang skim piramid yang berkeliaran di facebook, dan ianya adalah perkembangan keje-keje anti-MLM aku sejak Februari 2010. Maklumat skim piramid yang dah lingkup pun ada terkumpul di sana. Page tu ada jugak membantu aku dalam menulis artikel di blog ini - ada beberapa skim piramid yang aku diskus, asalnya info tu aku dapati di Koleksi, daripada usaha fans (you know who you are). Anyway, saja aje aku nak letak entry ni pasal ni, sebab sepanjang hari Ahad ni, aku kena attack dengan beberapa ekor lembu MLM. Not that I'm angry or anything, far from it. It was just soooo hilarious! I thought I'd share it all with you. Tak kan nak syok sendiri aje?






Ada jugak komedi yang berlaku di tempat lain. 
Yang kat bawah ni berlaku di: Say No To MLM

Kalau nak tengok komedi Avail Beauty pulak, korang boleh pegi sini:



Semua page tu aku yang punya. Been a busy CSI-SOB for the last one year. 


And, Liverpool had just beaten Man U, 3 - 1.
YEEEHAAAA!!!
Up The GUNNERS!



Monday, February 21, 2011

Yeah Baby Yeah... Oh Behave!





I guess at times, anyone can get discouraged in anything he/she does.. especially when you find that people twisted your words at their whims, people think that you're doing it for fame and fortune (when in fact, you got zero of both), and worst of... your intention to give knowledge for free (while you still have a breath in you) to anyone who is willing to learn is considered a bad thing - to some sickos weirdos. There exist out there one really sick group of Malay mudafuckas! You know, those freaks who feed their children with duit haram lahanat, and then said "alhamdulillah... murah rezeki", afterwards. Come on people, no matter how extreme I am, and whatever kind of freaking words/things I said, aku takde pun hasrat nak makan duit orang lain dengan penipuan dan kelentongan. You know, like those people do in MLMs and pyramid-schemes. So, judge me all you want all you psychos, my conscience is clear... I do not take anything from anyone. I just write a freaking blog. And for the sake of my people, I won't be discouraged and I will persevere. What else could I do man? Even "Courage the Cowardly Dog" is one helluva fine pink brave little dog, you know.... and he always manage to save the day from all those monsters, zombies, aliens and all sorts of evils, in every single episode of that CN series. Even when Eustace Bagge kept scaring the poor dog with, "oooga-booga-booga" and ridicule him with that trademark holler "stupid dog!" every single week, in a lonely farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, that freaky hilarious dog persevere.

Hey, did you all hear the news that my blog has hit the million pageviews mark? (I'm all acting here, humour me). A million hits in 140 days, or about 20 weeks. Oh man... I am deeply humbled from your visits to my dear ol' crappy blog. You all know who read my blog mostly? Alexa.com said: "younger demographics, equal guys and gals, from colleges or universities, from the low-income group (because of the student factor) and mostly from home or schools". Well, ain't that great? Just the type of people I wanted to convey my information to. Hopefully by the time all you kids grow up, you'll help also help in sending out the message to the people around you. And when all you kids get married yourselves, you can all teach your own kids about all these sciences, mathematics, economics and being-street-smart stuffs. Hopefully, the Malay people will improve by about 4.3%. 4.3% more Malay kids that are knowledgable about MLM-PS in this beloved country of ours. I'll take it, yes sir. 4.35/100 x 15 million people = 652,500 people. I can live with that.
  


Hey kids... being a stubbornly clueless, uneducated, I-was-left-behind-at-the-turn-of-the-century, not the sharpest tool in the shed, easily duped MLMers is a real bitch, you better believe it. From your own perspective, just let them be. What else can you do man? Just make sure you become other than those kinda people. Be a professor, be a scholar, be a teacher, be a doctor, be an engineer, be a rubber-tapper (harga getah dah 17 hengget sekilo yeop oi!)... but just don't be an MLMer. Let the newer MLM schemes crash before it starts. You kids can make it happen in the future I bet. 

Do you all realise the masterminds of all those MLMs and pyramid-schemes that are running around like warthogs in the savannah right now, are the kind of Malay people who have some screws loose in their head and a bit older than most of you. Examples, AC Mangkok-Hayon artis tak laku, Akhil Hayy siJanggut perasan, Hairul Nizam kerbaubalarhaprak, KhairolR balaci chayanunalip Uptrend, Hisham lintah-petrol, Prof Dr Sir Taik Kucen ECPbersepai, Dr Rozmey the-disgrace-of-a-doctor, among others. Jenis yang dah tua tapi tak belajar pasal etika kemanusiaan (usahkan agama) semasa dia orang membesar, dan mungkin dah takleh terima hidayah lagi dah... well, maybe. But I digress for the umpteenth times. Dan jugak, silap-silap dah tak makan saman pun, hati dah itam suka sangat makan duit haram laknat MLM-SP. Jenis yang nak kaya jadi millionaire, tapi dengan cara ngencing orang lain secara pukal. Orang lain yang kulit sama colour pulak tu. Those people are really hopeless, a disgrace to all Malays everywhere. Remember kids - learn well in school, and don't do MLMs, and be as educated as you can be. Have a high ambition in your lives. Value hard work, value the quality of your work, and please work without "peeing" on anyone along the way. No two ways about it in my book.


Boy (that's a nickname) told the story earlier in the comments section of this blog, that TRO1 have put out the latest list of most influential Malaysian blog - and whaddya know, I'm no. 17. What the....? Hey, I'm behind Che Det, but more popular than Anwar. Yeehaaaa! Tapi Papagomowadefaksampahtakkeruan kasi spoil betul la list tu. Gilos! But anyway... things like these don't stay long, and they keep changing all the time. If I die tomorrow, my blog will disappear soon enough. Doesn't really matter about the chart, if you see it in that sense. To all those sick MLM-PS clans out there, I've got a question: I can't be talking crap about MLM-PS all the time if I'm no. 17 in Malaysia, right? But, that is not the point of this bloody blog anyway. 

If I could change the mind-set of one Malay youth, influencing him to study well in school and university and get a proper degree, and to work hard when he starts working to earn a living, and not to trust the crap that any of those commercial enterprises peddle in front of him, and to be critical of all the information he gathers throughout his life... I personally think that I have created a successful resourceful blog. If one resourceful kid can see the "tembelang" of any MLM company the first time he is faced with the bloody thang... OK, I'll pat myself in the back. Forget those kinda charts, the making of an educated Malay youth is all I care about. And those crackpot MsAwin, Fandy217627362, Razali what-not can swing from tree to tree happily in Papua New Guinea, for all I care. 

If I could save just one soul... then the fact that my mother carried me in her womb for 40 weeks, years and years ago, would not be in vain. Good night and good luck.


Thanks, man...





Wednesday, January 26, 2011