And so it is...

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

There Was A Lull In My Head... Or Was It LOL?


Fatwa Haram Menikah Dengan Gadis Satu Kampung.

JAKIM telah mengeluarkan fatwa terkini tentang hukum nikah di Malaya. Setelah diadakan perbincangan dan diskusi di antara para ulama' dua minggu lepas, JAKIM dan ahli ulama' telah menjatuhkan fatwa bahawa:

"HARAM HUKUMNYA BAGI SEORANG MUSLIM LAKI-LAKI UNTUK MENIKAH DENGAN GADIS SATU KAMPUNG"

Fatwa JAKIM ini telah menimbulkan perdebatan dan bantahan yang sangat sengit antara mereka-mereka yang pro dan kontra tentang isu hukum pernikahan yang akan diguna-pakai oleh semua umat Islam di negara ini. Bahkan banyak pihak yang menyatakan bahawa JAKIM telah mengambil keputusan yang tidak munasabah dan terburu-buru. 

Wartawan Harian Membiol seperti biasa telah cekau berita ini terlebih dahulu, dan seterusnya telah meminta pegawai kanan JAKIM untuk memberi ulasan yang mendalam sebab sebab JAKIM mengeluarkan fatwa sedemikian. Inilah isi wawancara tersebut:

Wartawan Biol: "Bagaimana JAKIM boleh mengeluarkan fatwa haram untuk menikahi gadis satu kampung?"

Pegawai Kanan JAKIM: "Bagaimana tidak haram, sedangkan menikahi empat orang wanita sahaja sudah ya amat la berat, apatah lagik kalau menikahi semua pompuan satu kampung...! Ekau ni dah sasau ko apo jang?! Gilo eh?"

____________________________________________________





Kalau mat rempit meleis ambik exam matematik atau sains...
Tu le sebab ramai bebenor terjoinT MLM... ajer ngan yer!



94 comments:

Malik Ramli said...

haha... ingatkan fatwa apa tadi

Adinda said...

Eh2... Fes ker

http://aniesandyou.blogspot.com said...

cuba memahami.. apa maksud sbnr


Kerana LiverpoolFC episode 4 (finale)

asia bagus said...

Guys,

Some nifty tool for those who likes to print out articles

http://www.printfriendly.com/

Have fun..

MAS said...

:)

Rose said...

Bwahahahaha....wanna share this with my students...

Err...not mamat and MataHati by the way, coz too complicated for them.

Aku Ibu Muda said...

satu kampung dia nak kawen..mmg lah tak leh...kih kih kih

Dunia Baru said...

hehehehe

Mukhlis ibrahim said...

Hahaha, Result are still pending... LOL

ejump said...

WooHaa!!!

mny said...

70 and over : result are still pending.. hahaha...

mati2 aku ingat ader berita gempak terbaru... sekali tipah tertipu...




Petrol Oh Petrol

phreak_scooter said...

weh .. http://aniesandyou.blogspot.com

enough with the free advertisement shit

♥CIK SHA♥ said...

hahaha..amboi..satu kampung nak 'sapu' tu..;p

Lola said...

I think.
This entry.
Is SEXy.

For some bizzare reason.

aaron said...

dude.. for the first time, ur post make me horny... :P

Dr. Ben said...

good one!

Aidid Mu'addib said...

Aaron dude,
Thank God... this POST made u horny...
I thot I was the one you're horny about.
Deng meng!

aaron said...

o dear, wha ha ha..!!

Arzu said...

Setuju dgn phreak_scooter. Semua komen dia mesti si anis ni advertise blog dia. Honestly, its annoying

Adinda said...

Ai nak iklan kopi abe Wan. Beli 1 dapat 10. Seswai untuk yang horny2 macam kat atas tu :p

I wong (依之汉) said...

setuju dengan Arzu n phreak_scooter.

mengada2 jer si http://aniesandyou.blogspot.com
apa la sangat blog dia tu. Nampak sangat blog tak famos cuba cari iklan murahan kat sini.

Tak perla. kita tolong klik utk dia. Boleh la si http://aniesandyou.blogspot.com dapat duit extra.... suka sangatttttt (mata juling ke atas, tangan di bahu...)


by d way. I like the entry. :D

matsom said...

bersembur kopi azwan(tm) lepas baca calorie+sex punye cerita, naseb tak barai keyboard aku -kalo tak confirm post ni jadi all caps :P

re. bloggers putting links to/advertising their blogs: cool it guys, nobody's making you click on the links, furthermore I don't see/read Aidid ever banning the visitors here from doing such things.

And I don't think this blog need a postings monitor/blog police either, we already have Dirty Harry wot? ;)

Lola said...

I likey this hot & steamy entry too.


ps gosh, i really got nothing to say. What else is new.

azwan said...

I like fake orgasm + doggy.

keh keh keh...

Lola said...

That Italian chandelier sounds interesting.

Arzu said...

matsom : i'll follow your advise. it's just each and everyyyy AM's article, she will put her own link - to the point its seriouslllyyy annoying! Well sorry anis, after this i'll just ignore your post...again.....

Adinda said...

Huhh.. Noti2 sokmo nih.
Niway, a link is annoying, let alone 3 links altogether.
Itu tak masuk lagi link ke entry ala2 lucah mamat entry lepas. AM should ban them.

Lola said...

Sian Anis.

azwan said...

Second erection? camne dorang kira neh..hahahHAHAhahah...interesting. mana tuan blog amik data sumer neh..

Adinda said...

Her name is already her blog url what. Udah-udah ler tu.

Abe Wan, mu patut guna fakta kat atas tu masa promote kopi :p

I'll bet tj alone order 20!

Lola said...

Kalu guna khidmat fluffer, lagi kurang kot kalories burned for err.. 2nd "pitching of a tent".

azwan said...

minum kopi aku total calories burned less than 200. keh keh keh...

azwan said...

http://lewismoten.blogspot.com/2005/05/italian-chandelier-position-explained.html

Adinda said...

Laju je doc Wan cari eh :p
Waduh.. Need to find a husband.. pronto!

azwan said...

Kampung ko kat mana Adinda?

Adinda said...

Sebelah kampung abe Wan

azwan said...

Satu kampung aku nikah satu kampung nko. Ok ke? sumer 200 calories...italian chandelierrrr...

Adinda said...

Hihihihihi
1 kampung dapat kopi pree.

BellaGrey said...

Somebody needs to lay off his coffee, me thinks...

Or get a room with d berry sucking wench. Lola, wanna join me as yogurt lickin' voyeurs?

Dang, this entry IS sexy...

ScaniaZ said...

Bahye nie beb....
Hot Post---->>>Besarkan Alat Kelamin : Jangan Beli Alat Ciplak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovesucks said...

Hahahahaha....i had a good laugh especially when I read calories burned during sex... =))

! Sam Posmen ! said...

haha. see another fatwa malaun kata sifu al bangangun

more calories to burn when u laugh. haha

hyelbaine said...

Scaniaz & anies,

Your place is not here but in Lrg Haji Taib. Both of you would love it there.

Oh Oeya said...

terkejut mak nok!!

heheh ;)

Rose said...

Italian chandelier? Bagus buat research ni.

Malam sumaat...

azwan said...

Oh yea..malam jumaat. nak practice Malaysian Chandelier. keh keh keh...

Adinda said...

Habisla abe Wan print kasi kat orang rumah hafal :p

Oh Oeya said...

~rujuk: Calories Burned During Sex!

patutlah begitu sukar bagiku menurunkan berat badan.. ketara sudah kekurangan diri.. arrggghhh!!

Tulang said...

"right now,as you read this,69 million people are having SEX! And you're on the computer"

abih....takkan nak rush balik umah kot....hehehehehehe...(5 jam lagi...)

Eliza said...

No comment... aiyem inesen here. hihihi..

Nice try...Mr Bond. I'm amused! :p

Aidid Mu'addib said...

Uik! Tulang... ko nak buek skrg jugak ko?
Kol abang ko tu ha... kat mortuary pun buleh apo kesah?
Takdo sapo2 yg idup nak komplen doh...

Adinda said...

Kuikuikui

T J said...

Hiss...

gua kalu nak pekena kopi abeonekenobi ne...takyah ode2....kenyet mate jer kat lola tue... :p

Nak scawan??...

T J said...

Hye...bukan ke dinda yang patut serve???....

curik tulang eh....

Adinda said...

Ekk?

Lazy indulgence said...

yang fuck this shit tu, bagus utk org yang selalu pergi test SPA...tapi tak masok2 gomen...

Affis Ashari said...

ok aku terkena. aku siap tanya boss, 'boleh ke kawin dgn gadis satu kampong?' lps tu aku kena gelak. thanks Aidid. LOLOLOLOLOL!

cek chun said...

Hamboi afiss.. Ko nak sampai 1 kampong gak yer. Jenoh nak minum kopi abe Wan

Nizam said...

hahaha.siot!terkenal pulak!nasib baik baca abis!

my balqis said...

suke bc blog aidid, so funny n yet so true,say no to MLM, dr invest kat MLM baik invest kat hartanah, berbaloi..kan??
www.ayuhartanah.com

Lola said...

Semua olang tengah chandeliering kah.

Adinda said...

No need kopi abe Wan dah

azwan said...

Baru lepas missionary..

first said...

Opening her FIR bra? mesti lg byk kalori terbakar.... lol...

lokokoko said...

aslmkum Aidid.. mcm mane dgn kes HPA? dh stop ke? aku ada dgr org HPA nk saman ko, betul ke? atas tuduhan ape?

BellaGrey said...

HPA wanna sue AM? Tell 'em to take a number...join d club of pissed off MLMers who want to sue AM or "ambil tindakan tatatertib"

Bwahahahaha......

pcbahar said...

Orang MLM memang perasan habis.. Bak kata Mr Os bila musim deroyan duit banyak saman buleh bayor.. Tapi orang MLM bukan saman buleh bayor, dema rasa dah besor benor berani pulak nak saman orang yang tak sealiran..

Toksah mengkomer risau, kalau dah MLM makan hasil orang bawah dengan sendirinya dia akan lingkup.. Ni, tanda tempat duduk teman ni wehhh..

Aidid Mu'addib said...

Nak saman? Asswipes...
Well, those MLM suckers can suck my.......... never mind.

azwan said...

Baru tgk tv9. tonik hati al-jabbar leh cure hepatitis? wtf...?!! ade plak mamat kepale botak cakap macam2 pasal hepatitis, ascties, bla bla bla...memang celakak btoi.

Aidid, ade mase ko belasah lagi al-jabbar..heheheh..

Metafora said...

er..tumpang tanya kepada sape2 yg dalam bidang perubatan kat sini..

1.betul ke CPR boleh menyebabkan tulang rusuk patah?

2.betul ke tiub saluran pernafasan boleh menyebabkan gigi patah?

ingin tahu..

Aidid Mu'addib said...

1. Sure... kalau ganaz sgt, kalau pt dah tua sgt, kalau dr nye tak pro sgt, kalau manyak2 reason lagik laaaaa....

2. Tiub pernafasan tu tiub plastik - gigi takleh patah sebab itu... tapi masa prosedur intubation, sure gigi boleh patah - kalau ganaz sgt, kalau pt dah tua sgt, kalau dr nye tak pro, kalau manyak2 reason lagik laaaaa....

....But, itu yg aku dengar la. Aku motong gotah yor...
Elok tanya anaesthesiologist.

Metafora said...

AM

thanks for the info bro AM..aku keje uma batu..jarang orang sembang hal2 medic ni..1st aid ada la..hahaha

Oh Oeya said...

Aidid Mu'addib said

1. Sure... kalau ganaz sgt, kalau pt dah tua sgt, kalau dr nye tak pro sgt, kalau manyak2 reason lagik laaaaa....

2. Tiub pernafasan tu tiub plastik - gigi takleh patah sebab itu... tapi masa prosedur intubation, sure gigi boleh patah - kalau ganaz sgt, kalau pt dah tua sgt, kalau dr nye tak pro, kalau manyak2 reason lagik laaaaa....

:D

Adinda said...

Yang, yu nak senyum kerang tu senyum jer. No need to copy paste everything. Penat ai nak baca tau

azwan said...

hahahaHAHhaha...betol cakap tuan blog tu.

Oh Oeya said...

Ampun Bu

Metafora said...

muahahahaha

Rose said...

Nak tanya gak la. Apa pulok yg boleh sebabkan stetoskop patah?

Aidid Mu'addib said...

Mungkin sebab stetoskop tu made in Shenzhen... dan bukan Littmann.
Atau, mungkin stetoskop tu dah tua... well-worn, fatigue.
Atau mungkin sebab pt ngamuk sebab kena raba lebeh2 secara tak sengaja... eerrrr...
Atau, mungkin stetoskop tu tersepit kat celah you know what yg humongous dan kenyal...
How should I know?
I'm just theorising here man...

Bomoh Hujan said...

toingggg!!!!
DRESSING AFTERWARDS
-
-
-
-with your wife knocking at the door 13,521 calories
pasal pe terbakar dalam kuantiti yang manyak dan cepat woooo... ketuk2 pintu jer....beriban kalori terbakar...heran heran~~~ :D

Adinda said...

Stetoskop pun boleh patah? Hebak tul doctor tu.

Tok moh tak nak suruh abe aidid uplod video pulak ke? Yelaa. Senang sket nak paham. Tak yah heran2 dah.

azwan said...

Kalau kepala doctor tu besar macam bapak gajah, dia kena stretch stetoskop tu bila nak pakai...so boleh jadi terrr patah.

tak payah adinda oi..aku boleh bagi beriban2 link. keh keh keh...

Adinda said...

Alaa abe Wan ni, ai saja nak usik tok moh tu

BellaGrey said...

Broken stethoscope? It happened to me once...

Lemma tell ya, use hand cuffs...Don't use substitute like stethoscope or ties or socks....it just won't work...

Cityiklan said...

Gilo hebat terjemahan video ni

From
Cityiklan
Iklancoffee
Afx
Malaysia Blog

hyelbaine said...

Baru nak ckp possibility that stetoskop boleh patah thanks to huge 'jugs' but AM beat me to it :P

Metafora said...

sampai kisah stetoskop patah~~hahahaha

Cesc Faisal said...

ko ingat ko lawak sgt??? haha..

Aidid Mu'addib said...

Who're you talking to boy?

Metafora said...

cesc faisal

ko cakap ngan sape weh? meh aku temankan ko sembang2..meh sini meh..

Lola said...

Did someone just say "knockers"?

Bomoh Hujan said...

aku yang tengah heran tanpa jawapan...tetiba ada keberet cilok2...aiya...

cek chun said...

tetiba ada keberet cilok2 - apa benda ni tok moh?

TheBentPencil said...

Wahhh...banyaknya kalori terbakar. er....sebagai orang single dan muda rumaja saya nak tanya...masturbation calories berapa habis? wakakaka

anyway, serious stuff--bab fatwa haram kahwin satu kampung ada dia sebut dalam Tanyalah Ustaz kat TV9. boleh jadi haram kahwin orang sekampung, apabila ibu tu pernah menyusukan anak orang sekampung, tapi dia lupa siapa yang dia susukan. akhirnya satu kampungla tak boleh kahwin.

oh, guwa sungguh nerd. kbai.